Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
