You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
