garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
