just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need water and some morals
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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