i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
