I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
