And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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