oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
