I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
