Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
