He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize