he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize