no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
