Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
