PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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