I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm having to shit out rocks
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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