im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
