# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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