everyone is single if you try hard enough
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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