Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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