What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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