Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
