woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
