How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
