I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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