just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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