so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
