Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
