I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize