Whod you bang
We're facebook friends in real life
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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