just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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