Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
