haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
