are you still at the devil's house?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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