need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
