Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
