the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
