i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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