I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she peed on how many people?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
