i was born a porn star she said
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
