I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
