dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
