his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize