he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
