She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize