Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Panties = found
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