i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
