Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
