I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
