We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
