I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
should my penis look like a turkey
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
