you turned your livingroom into a bong?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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