This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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