The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
