This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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