i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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