Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
